I am going to leave this here for one to think about:
It took me almost three decades of a lot of emotions to realize how true this is. But in today’s world where boundaries are even more obscure and diminished by social media, our smart phones, etc., how on earth is it possible to raise a child who establishes strong boundaries from the beginning?
Why is this is important? I can only tell you why not creating healthy boundaries impacted myself to illustrate the importance.
Firstly, over the years I learned to say yes to everything. Even to the detriment of myself, and I firmly believe my husband is the same way, though he would never agree. This has meant weekend after weekend of driving all over the place to make sure we make it to everyone’s big event. It didn’t matter how many times these people had flaked on us. We had to make it to every last event. I felt like I couldn’t say no. But here’s the flip side, most people flake on us. This left me feeling hurt, bitter, and resentful of those relationships. So over the past year, I have really worked on not over committing myself.
Another issue I feel this applies to is any working adult. Kyle and I are perfectionists, both type A personalities, and while at times it can be draining, I do firmly believe this is why we are successful. But, and this is a big but (not trying to be funny), it creates an unhealthy working relationship with people we work with. Now, over the years it has proven to be our bosses in some cases, sometimes it’s our coworkers, or sometimes it’s both. A prime example of this is when all my coworkers bailed on my boss to go home early. I was one of two with kids, my other coworkers kids were older. But somehow he expected me to stay, because I couldn’t say no to him. I stayed hours late, not because I wanted to, not because it was my work package, because he knew he could take advantage of my lack of boundaries. And I let him.
These are small instances of why having boundaries is important. But how do we make sure K and G have this down at an early age? I know a lot of this is going to be a learning process for them. I also know they will do what we do, and that’s why I find it so important for K and I to be the best versions of ourselves we can possibly be. But this one is a hard one for us…